I do the tours for Winslow cohousing. I love doing them because it lets me show a practical example of making the world better. In many ways we are not that different. The only really radical thing about our houses is that our cars are parked so far away (I will talk about that at some point) and the size of our common house. The houses themselves, although quite small by suburban standards, are not that much different than you would find anywhere.
But the way we do group process is very different. I've noticed that when new members join, the group just sort of assumes that they will pick up consensus. And they mostly do, but I think we continually underestimate how much consensus requires of us. Where else have we really experienced consensus decision making? Not in our families. Not in our schools. Not in our jobs, and not in our government. So why would we assume that it does not take some real effort to learn how to do consensus properly?
In my other posts I've talked about the questions we have been brinigng to our community:
*Why do we choose consensus?
*Why do I personally choose consensus?
*What does consensus look like (when it is working)?
*What does consensus require of us?
*What do we do when consensus breaks down?
We now have started to address the "What does consensus require of us" question. We have brought Holly Eckart over to teach three classes, because we think, at a minimum, you need to be able to do the following to work in consensus:
* Get really clear on what is going on with myself and what is driving me
* Figure out a way to express myself that other people can hear what I'm saying
* Actually listen to the response (instead of half listening and preparing my retort)
Holly's first class was self connection, and it got a great reception. But it reminded me how much of a practice this is. It is one thing to know how to do these things, it is another to actually do it. It is as much a practice as any martial art.